"Everyone grows up", so the saying goes. In reality, I think some people just don't or perhaps they simply refused to. However, most comment or look at this from a negative perspective, which is really a prejudiced opinion. For example, "so and so is really immature, he/she needs to grow up." While this may be the case for some, it simply isn't true for everyone.

Why am I harping on this? Because I suppose I see myself in that way and am kinda conflicted now. I've got comments that I'm a lot different from my school days, but me being me I don't really see the changes. The other reason is because I have people commenting like "you still play games and watch 'cartoons'?" followed by comments on how childish it is and that I should grow up and work hard to make money or whatever. Really, "old" doesn't begin to describe their mentality, "ancient" would be a more accurate word.

*sigh* Looking at this, I haven't blog in quite a bit. I like the fact that my blog doesn't really have much readers (if any at all) and that's a good thing; I get to rant and to sort of "talk" to myself. In a way I guess it helps me sort out my thoughts easier. Not that it ever helps with the countless problems in life but hey at least I can look back some day and read about these issues I had to go through and hopefully reflect on how I managed to get out of it or overcome it. Me being positive now eh? That's so not me I guess. I may not be as bad as Zetsubou Sensei's Itoshiki Nozomu, but I admit I'm quite the negative guy.

Things haven't been ideal, one of the reasons why I really feel like I need a change. For one, I got into a bit of a problem recently that once more highlighted how shitty the media industry in this country can be. When vendors try to force you to shower them with praises they don't deserve, I'm sure you'll start feeling disillusioned like I am right now. Why is it different from other countries? Because other magazines in other countries simply do not need advertisers for their mag to survive, the popular ones that of course.

So what do I mean? You've noted my other complains about my job before, like the low pay for increasing workloads and me realizing that I don't really seem to be going anywhere. Yesterday, I was looking around at Lowyat's pricelists again, trying to balance a good PC rig with reasonable prices for all categories I want. Results is the budget worked out to be close to RM7k, which is money I definitely do not have. Add to the fact that I have more and more things to pay nowadays as well as a lot of things I really want to get, the conclusion is simple: I need a different job with a higher pay. That or I need to get more merc jobs. To summarize things, I want a certain lifestyle and fact is in this time and age lifestyle=money.

Of course, it's not just all about what I want and the lifestyle I desire, there are necessities as well. What necessities? Not urgent at the moment, as with everything else I WANT. But what I would eventually NEED is my own house and my own car. I came up with a very rough and random estimation for the salary range I need to be in to be able to get all these stuff before I'm 30, it should be at least RM5,000/month, or a net salary of (minus EPF and all that mandatory stuff) RM4,500. Wow, that's a shit load of money that I can never imagine myself ever having.

Still, you want lifestyle? You want to live alone without your parents bugging you about church and all that nonsense? Well, fork out the cash and then society will talk with you.