Free from education?

Its all over. Years of studying, though not that I was interested enough to do well, all over. My FYP schedule came out today, however call me crazy but I don't feel like attending it. Why? Because I have absolutely no idea how I will be able to present my system, seeing as there is what? Absolutely no system? Yes, be horrified. My system is so terrible it is as good as none. And having being told that FYP presentation doesn't garner any marks, I doubt attempting it will be any help. I'm running out of time to consider that though, seeing as its on Monday.

After 4 years, how do I feel? Well firstly I feel like I got conned, though by no one but the false promises of an easy way out. Its hard to not shoulder any responsibility myself, and say that it wasn't my fault. Though truth is it is partially my fault. I didn't know better, never had any sound advice nor judgment, and never did any research on my own. I've probably said this one time too many so I'll digress.

Still I ask myself, what now? People say get a job, but while I've kept that in mind, once again I haven't truly sat down and think about the implications of it all. What kind of job? What should I expect? What could I do that would suit my measly skills the most? Am I ready for the working environment? Would I be motivated enough to work hard? Its all a big question mark, and I believe this time I really should step back and take a good look before jumping into the frying pan.

It feels really unreal really, and somehow, surreal. Here I am sitting in front of my PC as usual, doing random things. Its already routine, though its a routine of randomness (I know it sounds contradicting). But life just lost all sense of urgency. There's no need to worry about assignments and stuff anymore, and I relish that. Other than all the uncertainties that I'm facing, I also feel that I want to enjoy this short moment of respite as long as I can. Once I start working, I just won't be able to have the kind of time and leisure I have enjoyed all this while. Its kinda scary when you think about it, education for over 10 years felt really long, but ultimately pales in comparison to the time you'll spent in a working environment.

Now that I have it behind me, I just keep looking back, and I constantly wonder and think of all the "what ifs". Regret is an unhealthy feeling, but despite realizing that it doesn't stop me from wishing that I had being wiser and just pick journalism or something related. So I'm not as good as some writers out there, but at least I'm interested, and I've come to become a believer that interest leads to motivation. Why is it that no matter how I force myself, I just couldn't do well in IT? Because I lacked the interest. Harsh though it may be, my mum was right in accusing me of not taking my course seriously. I wasn't, I realized that, all because I realize that I came to hate studying IT to the point where I just gave up on putting any noticeable effort in it.

Years ago people left and right were saying, "hah! IT is so easy, we are getting an overload of graduates". Today, that is no longer true. IT is the industry where things evolve faster than you can blink. The moment you buy a new PC, another is being developed or released. Two weeks later your mum who doesn't realize the amazing scope of this evolution will complain and say "see? I told you to wait a few more weeks." not knowing the fact that even if you had waited, another two weeks later the same thing happens. Is IT easy? I believe its no easier than Business, Engineering, or Law. Its just one facet of a diamond, one leaf on a tree.

Hardware only? Hardly. (pun intended) With the implementation of the law on piracy of software, which is strictly enforce on corporate companies, these companies are now pushing for alternatives. Free source software are preferred now, or they hire programmers to develop a system specifically for their company. The bigger companies attract more scrutiny, and buying original software also entails huge expenses for these companies, they would be the ones who are most likely to employ IT personnel just to work on these projects. They pay less, and can potentially benefit more, what's there to lose?

You'd think that with the situation like this, it probably isn't hard to get a job, and that's probably true, to a certain extent. However I don't believe that to be the case, and working life would probably be really taxing for fresh graduates like us in this era, what with living cost increasing left and right. "Make the best with what you have" is what a friend advised, and that's how I probably how everyone should see things in life.

Ahhh I'm going no where. I'm going to enjoy my break for the hectic schedules of life and take it easy.

P/S: If you are weird enough to want to read this and can't make any sense of it, its ok because it isn't suppose to be with my fog-addled mind. If you do understand it somehow, congratulations, you are probably in the same boat as I am.