Reminiscing of better times

For some people their life just gets better, for me it seems to be the latter. Many people always wonder why I don't really have any issues with my family but still complain about them all the time. Fact is if you've had better you would feel all the more reason to complain; I don't care that there are other people out there worst off than me, the fact remains that I'm unhappy with my situation and I have all the right to complain about it. So people who out there who like to quote "you're better off than most", mind your own business!

Anyway the reason I brought this up was because that today while I was driving home from work, I kept reflecting on how far I've come without realizing the impact of everything that has happen and the fact that I've been driving for almost 5 years already. Speaking of which, I gotta renew my license soon! MORE MONEY NEEDED! 2009 is definitely going to be the year of broke for me, and here I'm itching to buy the translated light novels that certain US publishing companies are starting to license (it's great that they don't just license manga now).

Anyway I digress; one thought led to another and I remembered the better times when I was a lot more closer with my family, my brother included. Things just haven't been the same the past few years, partly my fault, mostly due to the changes in my parents IMO. When I was a kid in primary school, I had a great relationship with my parents. I had the usual sibling rivalry with my brother, but it wasn't the cold indifference we show each other nowadays. When I was 10, my dad bought me my 1st console: the Sega Mega Drive 2. My love for RPG games started from there, as one of the 1st RPG games of all time was released around that time, which was Shining Force (these days the series produces subpar and often crappy games). About 1-2 years after that I started reading really thick novels, some up to 600 over pages, with font size of 8 I think. Or smaller, I don't really know haha. Life those few years were perhaps the best for me whenever I think back. My dad shared my love for games and books so much so that we could talk for hours on what happens in the plot and stuff. Me still being a kid, my dad explained a lot of things to me like why a story turns out one way or another because of certain events and how it would have been different if something else had happened. My dad is the reason why I overthink sometimes and overanalyze. Back then I used to think how lucky I was to have a father like that; one that can relate to you so well and is IMO the kind of father everyone should have.

"What happened?" you ask. My answer is, religion got in the way. At first it was just attending church regularly, which was boring and irritating; even more so now that I'm working and my only free time are weekends. Heck, sometimes I even have to work on weekends! Then it came to a point where one day he just up and decided to quit his job and help the church full-time. I have no idea why my mum even supported the idea, our family lost a lot of monthly income thanks to that and that's only one of the many ill effects that came as a result of that crazy decision. Very soon it was bible studies all the time, then eventually he decided to take up the bible college's course. Next thing I know he's being given charge of an outreach church and life had never been the same for me after that.

Well I really don't want to talk much about it so I guess I'll stop here.

Resolutions? Don't have any.

As titled. And I have decided to give up. Unrequited love is stupid. Why should I give so much of myself and get nothing in return? Until the day I find someone who will love me as much as I love her, I'm giving up on love.