Contemplations?

Sometimes I wonder if I'm thinking too much. I even think about if I'm thinking too much. My brain seems to function for long hours thinking of really unnecessary stuff, and really its done nothing more than make it harder for me to fall asleep when I need to. I really admire those people who can konk out almost immediately after their head touches the pillow. =\

Now here's something I'd like to ask all of you. Do you guys go like "ok my eyes are starting to droop I should go to bed?" Likely, the answer should be yes. And often thats just how it is for most people. But for people like me, who are in front of the computer all the time, we really don't know if we are actually tired, or our eyes are just getting heavy from starring at the monitor for so many hours.

The dumb thing is how my eyes sometimes get affected to the point (plus I am actually feeling a bit emo/tired/etc), I'd go "alright I guess I should sleep". Switch everything off (I'm not the type to have my PC on 24/7) and yay! Sleep! Bliss...or so I thought. For the next hour or more, I'd spend the time tossing and turning as I try to sleep. Then after awhile you realize you won't be able to get any sleep, and you feel stupid for switching your computer off. But here's the thing, stick to trying to sleep rather than getting up again. You'll be better off that way, trust me. Don't give me that look now...I'm quite reliable you know? Well....most of the time...

Anyway, I personally have this weird problem where I tend to have a lot of things on my mind, when I'm actually mentally tired, or I'm feeling pensive for some reason. No I'm not emo. Rather than being emo, its more like I'm feeling melancholic. Life gets pretty dull after awhile when all you have is the daily routine. Nothing changes, nothing happens, no gold is gonna drop from the sky. Depressing thought, but hey you have to dig if you want gold. It doesn't just drop and KO you on the head with its 1kg weight. You wouldn't be delusional if you think that, I'd send you to the senile people's home.

"How's work?" Is what many people ask me, but truthfully I haven't experience enough that I'd want to make a definite claim of what I think is what. Though yeah on routine, the morning shift isn't killing me yet. But I've been promised that the night shift will. How fun to have it next month then. Don't expect to see a lot of me next month. What with CNY and stuff around. What? Valentines? What's that? Can eat one ah?

Something else I've been thinking about lately, how am I going to complete all those little small projects I've been telling myself I'd get to? Or the games I've left hanging and unfinished? Even my anime is starting to pile up, and if you know me thats extremely ABNORMAL. So what's the deal? Well time is. I really don't have a lot of time nowadays, and when at first I took the job I was like "working weekends? Not much of a problem since its rotational". How wrong I was. I now wish that I'd at least pick a job where I don't have to work on weekends. IT grads, never, and I mean NEVER pick a job where you need to work on weekends. You'll cry for your beloved weekends within weeks into the job.

Everyday I go home nowadays, I keep telling myself, "hey I've got that fanfic project hanging, lets work on it". Next thing I know I'm either checking forums, reading blogs, reading manga, or watching anime (which has turn to be not so enjoyable recently with the ghosting problem on my LCD monitor). Its just that nowadays when you get back, you really don't wanna do anything anymore other than stone around and just wait for dinner. Well of course, replace stoning for manga and anime in my case.

Speaking of which, does anyone have a monitor (can be CRT) that you are not using and won't mind loaning out to someone for 2 weeks or so? I promise I won't destroy it! I need to have a spare monitor for use while I send my LCD monitor for repairs. This has been a problem for months because I can't repair it if I don't have another monitor to use. (Read: can't live without manga and anime! must have monitor!!!!!!!)

Well oh look! This post made absolutely no sense whatsoever. Not like I was trying to make sense. Workload slows down in the afternoon around here so it tends to be more relaxing. But I can't exactly relax because I'm too tired from lack of sleep and a bit of a headache.

*sigh* Once again! Spare monitors anyone? Urgently needed! Pretty please with anime on top? (I lend you my DVDs!)