To be or not to be, it depends

In my old blog I once wrote a post on infinite possibilities, which Gem found interesting. I ask myself how often I'm inspired enough to write post like that, and the truth is, not very often. I wonder if all I have in me is just rants, rants, whining, and more of that. What happen to all those years of reading? At the age of 12, I've already started reading and finishing novels in 1 day, novels that others at the age of 17 cannot finish within a month (spend too much time referring to the dictionary).

Fact is, reading is easy but writing is a whole new world. My creativity isn't the best so stories are out of the question. But I see myself as an extremely inquisitive person with a rather philosophical view on certain things in life (not all, I can be pretty stoic and close minded about certain things I have to admit). So probably its time to take brooding, contemplations, and deep thoughts to an even deeper level. That which does not brood nor contemplate on things that are, very often in life, inevitable. To explore and expand the mind to things that are vast and mysterious, that of science and philosophy. So where do I start?

What sort of science I'm interested in? Not the kind they teach in school. But why? They are the foundation of the more mysterious things out there. The governing physics of the world. Gravity, oxygen level, etc. I'm one who has always believed in what people call "aliens". Indigenous beings on other planets. Why not? If such a perfect condition for the creation and evolution of human beings on Earth can be and is a living proof, why not other planets out there?

The distance Earth is from the sun, the gravity of the planet and of the sun, the orbital length of the Earth around the sun, they all contribute to making life on Earth, possible. Hence I also believe in the theory of dimensions and alternate reality. Or rather infinite possibilities, and the divergence of each individual probability. The universe certainly is vast, and sometimes I dream of exploring all these possibilities, were it possible to. Or live long enough for advance technology in space exploration to be developed. Possible? We never know and sadly I don't think I'll live long enough to find out.

People think I'm weird, negative, and a pessimist. Others hate me for being direct (hey if you don't like the truth thats your problem), and there are those that find me boring and unsociable. Perhaps not having that sense of belonging in society and loneliness gave rise to all these thoughts. Not really going out to hang out with people all the time gave me the time to think of such nonsense. Doesn't matter, what matters is there IS a possibility to at any point in life experience that which can change your life. Nothing in life is a certainty. You could go bankrupt in the blink of an eye, and just as quick, become so rich you have no idea how to spend your fortune. Or you could be the kind of person who is safe within your comfort zone, living a good life, never believing that anything bad will happen to you and get smashed to a pulp by a trailer. *shrugs* Who knows? Especially in Malaysia, you're never safe on the road.

Philosophy? Hmm...I'm no Socrates thats for sure. Nor do I claim to be a guru or whatever. Its your take on life, and as the saying goes "you learn to accept things that happen to you, being philosophical about it". No gf? Hell there are more pros than cons. Why just yesterday I spoke to some of my friends and they weren't saying how its not possible to find a girl who doesn't go crazy when there's a sale, loves to play computer games, looks decent, is smart, etc. Why not? They're just stereotyping. Doesn't matter, if ever I find a girl like that, I'd go for her. Otherwise, either settle for what I get or just live out my life alone. Thats not THAT bad anyway. You spend less money that way. Pessimist or just philosophical? Your pick.

Dreaming of living forever and get the perfect girlfriend. Maybe I'm an idealist too. Or a dreamer if you want to call it. When that day comes, I'll have looks of faces I'd like to see. ;)

Don't think this fits the bill of what Gem calls interesting (meh he expects every blog to be an article), but lol thats all I have time to think of, in the college computer lab (I'm bored and the freaking break is too long yet too short to think of something better to write).

Hmm in any case, to each his own. Am I an idealist? Pessimist? Look-at-life philosophically person? Or someone who dreams of the impossible too much? That is up to you to decide, and for me to be. So, to be or not to be, that depends. ;)

Malaysian drivers = unethical; and Midvalley = JamValley

GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! I hate to drive to Mid Valley! Retarded! Shitty! Nonsense! Bullshit! Blardy crap! Always jam jam jam! Blardy jam for a total of 3 hours+ for the 3 times that I had to go there today! First to send my friends there in the afternoon, 1 hour+. Going there to meet up with friends from old college for a movie, another 1 hour+ (and you think the blardy jam would have cleared by now!??? Can you say omfg??). After the movie go home another 1 hour+, gah!!!!!!!

I can't stand it! Its bad enough that there's a retarded jam due to the stupid design and layout of the road system around midvalley, you have unethical, idiotic, mother-never-teach-so-thats-why-brains-like-crap drivers who think they own the road and can't be bothered to wait in line like everyone else does and decides to add to the misery of those who are already ready jump out of the car and pick a fight with the next idiot who decides to cut queue again, AT THE FREAKING DIVIDER! Go back to driving school la you poorly educated bastards! You want me to teach you how to drive is it?

To top it off, there are cars that broke down in the middle of the stupid road! ARGH!! OF ALL PLACEST!!! WHY!!!!!??? Not one, not two, not three, and when I reach four I stopped counting! What the hell? You all had to break down together in various locations in the same road on such a day huh? GAHHHH I almost wanted to kill myself in frustration.

To show you how idiotic it was, (and hell did you know that pressing and releasing the clutch constantly is rather fuel consuming? So I heard anyway) here's some pictures I took of the idiotic process.

A bit blurish but do you see that? Its the freaking divider and there are cars trying to cut from the front! BABI LU MANA LU BELAJAR MEMANDU AH? DI KAMPUNG AH??

Get this, its 10:30pm and not all of them are going home, some of them are going in! GAHHH!!! What makes it worse is the anxiety you feel when you see this!

No petrol la!! IF I HALFWAY MATI ENGINE I'M GONNA MURDER THAT IDIOT THAT DESIGNED MIDVALLEY'S ROAD LAYOUT!! DAI LOU YOU HELP ME PUSH CAR ALL THE WAY TO PETROL STATION AH?

Still got oh!
A: I want go right! CUT!! DENG STUCKED! $@Y!(#^!%$#^@&*$
B: I want go left! CUT!! DENG I ALSO STUCKED! $#^&@$^*!$!
Me: WTF 2 idiots stuck in front of me!

And after 1 hour+ of hell, torment, curses flinged in every direction. I emerged fuming and relatively unscathe from the horrifying place they call MidValley, which from now on I shall officially call JamValley. Of course the most urgent thing then is to feed my hungry car. So I abused free gear 9 9. Go up hill, accelerate over it and free gear to let it gather speed and momentum by itself. One such particular acceleration brought me over the bridge near the Ford building in Old Klang Road, and I literally rolled all the way to the Shell station up ahead.

What a relieve! OMFG LOOK AT THE METER! Ini macam pun ada 6 Kilometer?? Thats it, no more driving to JamValley. I rather go catch a movie all the way in Sunway Pyramid.

Continuing from yesterday's post, here's a picture from the gathering, erm correction its THE picture from the gathering. Those blurish ones I have in my phone don't count.

No prize for guessing who I am. Pretty good really, although its sad that Tracy was the only girl who came. No Yannie and crazy Venus (this one must thank God lol jk). Btw I'd like to agree to the others who said the services and Saisaki are good and the food is great too. Sad thing was we sad at a position where it was difficult to check out the girls around, sad....

Of birthdays and gatherings

Looks like I've been neglecting my blog again =\ I assure its not due to laziness, I'm just a bit busy and I don't really have much to blog about anyway.

Anyway have you ever wondered why people make so much fuss about birthdays? I for one have always thought it funny how people view birthdays. To me its just another day, it comes and it goes, nothing really changes in you. I mean the instance you turn from say 18 to 19 is there a change? Physically? Don't think so. Mentally? This is even improbable, its like saying you get a mental break down the moment the clock strikes 12, or whatever hour and minute of the day your birthday is. (mine happens to be around 12pm, don't ask me why I just remember it after finding out) Call me cynical, call me spoilsport or no fun. But I really don't see how getting officially 1 year older is going to change anything, with the exception of getting watch certain movies when your 18 and allowed to go into a bar when you are 21.

Well basically what I'm trying to say is, I find it hard to answer questions that have been asked the last few weeks. Such as "What are you going to do for your birthday? Throw a party? Celebrate with your friends?" These are things I don't really consider. Throw a party? Not my thing. Celebrate with my friends? Its up to them though I don't think they will bother either. So whats left is spending it like any other normal day and have your own birthday pass you by. Is that sad? Not particularly for me, really. Its been that way for years, nobody ever bothers to celebrate with me or throw parties for me so I've come to terms with the fact that nobody thinks its important and in time I've gradually adopted that mentality. Birthdays? Well I'd celebrate my friends' birthday if I was invited to or even plan something if it was a close friend. If you think that contradicts what I said about birthdays being not important to me, I meant mine, not others. If its a good/best friend and I think he deserves to have a birthday bash in his honor then certainly I will have some ideas in mind.

Anyways, birthdays wishes...haha I posted on that a few weeks back. To be honest the only thing I like about my birthdays is my relatives who have no kids of their own take it seriously and I get like red packets and birthday gifts haha. My parents themselves could care less >_> some parents huh? This year is the only year they got me something, but its a nice new phone so I guess that compensates for all those years without presents. :) Yea I'm pretty easy to satisfy. So yea, you can ignore my extravagant and draconian demands. *sob*

Now gatherings are different though. I've always loved gatherings :D but when it comes to school gatherings I'm always left out :'( Guess I'm not that well liked. My rather direct and honest approach in voicing my oppinions seem to alienate some people. Sad la :'(

Anyways we had our 2nd staff gathering (don't ask me what staff, secret :P) 2 weeks back. I was too preoccupied to blog then so I'm doing it now. Had dinner at Saisaki, movie at night watching "The Convenant" (don't watch this it sucks, dragonball wannabes *faints*) We had a great time. I'll blog in detail in my next post along with a picture of the gathering. Gotta go study for test tomorrow.

Jana!