Things to think about

I find it ironic that when I'm finally done with my work I feel kinda restless and really don't know what to do. At least work kept me occupied, though I was really stressed for the past week or so. Anyway, things have happened that really put a lot of things into perspective. For one, corporate bullying does exist, never doubt that. However, the things that happened have made me realized that I'm a lot more hardworking than I give myself credit for. Still waiting till the last minute is not good work ethic so I'll have to pace the speed of my workload better.

You know, sometimes when you think life is great and you've settled nicely, something just happens and slaps you in the face, waking you back to the harshness of life and reality. Take money for instance, one will like to think that "oh I only spend so little so I'll be able to save quite a bit." But anything can happen, get a bit clumsy and kiss a car's rear with the front of yours and you can say sayonara to a nice chunk of your salary. Things do happen; we humans are imperfect after all. We make mistakes or people might make mistake and we pay the price for it regardless.

Last Friday, I finally finish my designated workload. It feels really good when the stress and pressure you feel for the past two weeks just lift off your shoulders like that. The sensation is as if you were being choked and could finally breath again. Of course, I was naive to think that I was home free. My boss decided it was time for me to learn how to write something else. I thought to myself "fine, why not", since I welcome challengers like that. And so my boss had the one who I shall thus forth refer to as the "Slug", pass me some of his work. This accomplishes a few things; give me more work, clear some of the Slug's work, and of course hasten the completion of the mag. Lo and behold when I got back to the office, the Slug passed me not a small portion (which is only right since you should always break new work in slowly) but a large chunk of his work. In fact, there was a whole stack I had to go through, summarize, then write.

Now my initial reaction was "wtf!?" and you bet I was immediately pissed. Who gives a rat's ass who the Slug is? I'm covering for him just because the boss said to "pass some" to me. I'm not obligated to cover his ass just because the shitty Slug couldn't be bothered to work faster. So what? He does less work I do more. Oh fine, I know how it goes now. You would have seen a thundercloud in my office that day. Thanks to that, I was forced to work on Sunday just so I get the necessary amount of time to finish it off. Guess what? As of today, I'm done with my work and the Slug is still writing. But then, what do you expect from a Slug?

And why is the Slug even slower than a normal slug? Because this Slug comes back to the office on Sunday not to work but to play TF2! Oh yes! How hardworking! No Streamyx at home? GET ONE DUMBASS! I'm paying for my own Streamyx connection and my salary is a lot less compared to his. Computer specs not good? Save up money and upgrade! Shit the Slug and his companion are treating the office like their own house and playground.

Argh! Thinking about it still pisses me off. And to be honest this wasn't what I had in mind when I started this post. I wanted to post about something else. But since I'm still not so sure if I understand things well enough, I'll mull over the other matter a little longer. For now, I'll think of how to get a voodoo doll with a strand of Slug hair in it and stuff it with needles till it looks like a hedgehog.

Current wishlist (doable)

I need to write some crap other than work stuff to blow some steam. Boy does it get stressful at the end of the month. I won't wait till the last 2 weeks to write those 2 sections anymore, if only to avoid getting complains.

Anyway every month I come up with something I feel that I kinda need. Not really a necessity really, but then again, nothing I want is a necessity so does that mean I need nothing? Hey that's kinda bad isn't it? I think what one needs is subjective after all.

Regardless, I NEED:
New RAM - 2GB single channel 667 MHz (medium priority)
New HDD - 500/750GB (HIGH priority, must replace my dying and faulty HDD)
New Futsal shoes - whatever brand, as long as it's good (not so sure how to prioritize this but probably need ASAP?)
New Monitor - 19"/21" wide screen (medium priority)
New GPU - in case I need a better one to support higher resolutions for the largers screens (depends on monitor)

So there, back to work.

Enough about time already -_-'

July is fast coming to an end. Where did the time go? And how many times have I asked myself this question? People are gonna start thinking I'm some nagging old dude who repeats the same stuff every time. But in all honesty if there's one thing about life is that there are many things that are ordained and stay the same. For example: time will move irregardless of what you do.

Recently Code Geass made me realized, the passage of time is how you observe it. You may feel that it passes by quickly and some may disagree. One's sense of time is a lot more important that we realize. In Code Geass, Rolo's Geass suspends one's sense of time (or timing if you will) thus it appears as if time was stopped. I was struggling to understand it when I first saw it. The Geass ability has always had something to do with the human brain, so the ability to stop time seemed way too imbalanced to me and didn't fit with the concept of Geass. It all made sense when you find out that it's not time that was stopped, but your sense of time. It's just like if you take really strong painkillers. You don't feel the pain, but it doesn't mean that the hurt/injury has gone away. Similarly, once Geassed by Rolo, one does not sense time but it does not mean that time has stopped flowing. A very interesting ability to be very honest and if only the little gay brat weren't psycho he would have been a little more popular with the fans. Well I'll explain more on this someday maybe.

Another example would be Marilyn's power in Law of Ueki. She changes 1 second into 10 seconds. This is a bit more illogical, but then again Law of Ueki doesn't follow the laws of physics; ironic in a way. Regardless, the ability to change 1 second into 10 effectively increases the time you have by 10 times, never mind it only works for short bursts since opponents have to move and react 10 times faster to even catch up.

Let's skip to another point. People always say how one perceives time in different situations. For example, if you are having a great time one might tend to forget the time. Time passes irregardless, when one is having fun one would not want the time to go so quickly. When the time comes to stop you tend hear things like "what it's that time already?" or "so quickly?". Time didn't move faster nor slower, but one's perception of time was that the time passed by too quickly, so much so that the fun times seem short.

Conversely, if one is in the office with nothing much to do and everyone else is being quiet or pensive. One might start thinking, "I wish the time will pass sooner" and look at the clock or watch every so often (which is quite often in my experience). Because one is so conscious of the time and it's passage but at the same time impatient with it, one's sense of perception is that "why is the time passing so slowly?" or "can't the time pass sooner?". Again, the time never went faster by 10 times, nor crawled to a standstill; it is after all, one's perception.

Therefore, psychology apparently plays a big part in this and perhaps the way to pass those seemingly long and dull days is to fill up your time with things that are fun and fulfilling. Time is after all, one flowing, unbroken stream. Seconds, minutes, hours, days, months, or years; they are merely the creation of man, so that man's perception of time can be refined. Imagine you wake up in the morning and these segregations were never created, I think you'll probably be late for work a lot more often than you do now (speaking for myself).

So the next time you are bored in the office, think of fun times; it might help, I think. >_>

What to do with this blog?

I've probably said this too often; to post regularly, I need to find an interesting topic that I like so that I'll have something to write about. But lately I've been thinking of using blogging as a way to earn some side income via Adsense. So I've been wondering, maybe I should join the animeblogger.net community and start an anime blog but come to think of it, what will happen to this blog? Do I still wanna keep it? I wonder...

But I've noticed that animeblogger has no adsense, so that's not a very good option. The other is to create another blog under blogspot and start from there, but I seriously wonder if I have the motivation to keep something like that up for the long run. =\ I'll venture a guess and say that I probably won't (so I've already gun myself down before even starting).

I'm kinda posting this on a whim so I don't really know what to say. Any ideas on how to earn small side income without consuming too much of my time?

Restlessness

I bet people must have thought I'm gone for good by now. But if there's one thing you can never do then it's writing me off from blogging anymore. Somehow I'll just get the urge to put every now and then. Though as my hobbies, priorities at work, and responsibilities get in the way, it's getting increasingly difficult to spend any decent amount of time on writing my own stuff or blogging anymore. Heck, I've been way behind my own little story project. All I've got is the boniest skeleton of a concept and nothing else.

I digress, but the bottom line is I blog when I feel like it, which unfortunately isn't all that often lately. Without realizing it, I have already been working in my current company for over 3 months. As some of my friends will tell you, I'm pretty insecure with my life, and I'm pretty surprised that I'm still here. In any case, if things go well I'll be getting my confirmation soon. Let's hope I get a significant pay rise.

What to say? Well one thing I've realized is how many people are hypocrites, whether intentional or not. Sad thing is though when you realize it but keep on with it anyway, you are being an intentional hypocrite. Though that being said, sometimes you want to deny it, and try as you might you can't so it becomes as if you are a hypocrite. Confusing? Here's a prime example: Christians. Christian hypocrites probably make the worse hypocrites ever. They'll go about telling how people will go to hell if they don't believe in their religion but behind that goody-two-shoes exterior is someone just as sinful and corrupted as the so-called, "dirty sinners" out there. Why do I realize that? Because I came to realize one day how hypocritical the whole concept of religion had become and I was slowly becoming the kind of person I hated. Suffice to say I can't be bothered by religion anymore.

To elaborate, I've had so-called "friends" in church once. They love to act like they are holier-than-thou, but are no better than everyone else outside. Some cuss, smoke, drink, mix with the wrong crowd, are boastful, arrogant, disgusting, and the list goes on but to be honest what I've always hated was the fact that hypocrites are trying to act exactly like I've mentioned: the holier-than-thou attitude. Why I bothered to associate myself with that rabble is something I still wonder.

Let's get back on track now. I will have to admit sometimes life can get a bit rough, and we humans are affected by conflicting emotions. Take a bachelor; he longs for company, a girlfriend, someone who will understand him, whatever. But at the same time, he appreciates being single, loves his freedom, and prefers not to be shackled down by relationships. Try as he may, he can't decide between one of the two, so you get someone who's always telling you how freedom is great but then at times that he's lonely and wish he had company in the form of a girlfriend. Sounds ironic eh? Am I similar? I must admit I am. Am I in denial? Am I indecisive? (about whether I wanna get a gf or not) Or am I just plain uninterested?

When I think about it though, there hasn't been any girl that I've been seriously interested in for the past 5 years. Yeah, so much exposure outside and I've yet to find someone I can click with. Nevermind all the ogling I do. Eye candy remains eye candy if they don't fulfill my other criteria for a gf. ;) In any case, as the title says I've been really restless lately as I struggle with some of the questions like these. My parents were never impressed with the idea of having girlfriends when I'm young. Still, they were more or less liberal about it, and never confronted me about issues like this back in secondary school even though they clearly believed I had one. Some people just don't seem to believe in strong platonic friendships between guys and girlse. *sigh*

Oh well, I'm sure I'll work it out some day and maybe I'll miraculously find someone that fits my bill though honestly that might be nigh impossible. As my friend would say, "get ready to stay single your whole life with that kind of criteria." *shrugs* Somehow it doesn't bother me really. But really if I ever find a girl like that you bet I'll treasure her. If you are interested to know my crazy list of criteria, look me out someday and we'll talk about it over a cup of tea; your treat. ;)